NaPoWriMo #19: A moment of clarity

April 18, 2010

As I continue my day to day care for my father who has Parkinson’s disease as well as osteoarthritis, I am reminded that our children are our “insurance policy” to some degree as we get older. I imagined a letter that my grandmother would have written to me 77 years ago, right after my father’s birth. A letter that I am now just opening and having some mind blowing revelations. Here is the letter my grandmother might have written to me 77 years ago:

Dear Mark,

I know that one day you will see
The eyes I birthed that are looking at me.
My son is lovely with hopeful eyes,
His smile breaks like the sunrise,
But I know that one day when I’m gone,
And you are raising my only son,
You will see from those same eyes
That came from me on an older sunrise
That the child who will grow to an older man
And who will love you with your future plans
Will need your help before he dies,
Just look into those same child’s eyes.

Author admin
Comments (19)
  1. Derrick Said,

    This is quite lovely, Mark, even if a little sad.

  2. Stan Ski Said,

    It can take a turn of the ‘unexpected’ to realise what we should have known all along.
    Great food for thought.

  3. Rallentanda Said,

    For many years I was connected in an oblique way to the health care industry.Children are not an insurance policy (in western countries) for old age.The number of aged people neglected by their children is appalling and please do not assume they were bad parents. We live in a very very selfish society. You are a good son. I would say that is exceptional rather than the norm.

  4. admin Said,

    Thanks, Derrick.

  5. admin Said,

    Thanks, Stan. Sometimes we don’t see that which has been staring at us our entire lives. People often ask themselves, “Why am I here?” in the metaphysical sense. The answer is, “You are here for others.”

    Thanks again!

    ~Mark

  6. admin Said,

    Thanks, Rallentanda. My grandparents came over from Denmark in 1930 and brought with them the values of a society with a strong social safety net and care for those who are most vulnerable among us. Denmark continues to be a country that truly cares for its people.

    Thanks again!

    ~Mark

  7. rob kistner Said,

    Very moving Mark, and bravo to you for being a man of substance. Your piece was very warm and tender, and hit very close to a nerve for me. I have a number of health complications and may likely need the same care from my son Justin as you so lovingly are providing your father. He has promised to be there for me in such a case, and evidence seems to support this. I feel fortunate, as your father is fortunate… my respect to you…
    …rob

  8. vivienne blake Said,

    This moved me to tears. Thankyou for sharing this, and also for the backstory.

  9. Uma Gowrishankar Said,

    This is beautiful Mark, I can understand what you express because I have my father-in-law with me who is immobilised by PD and is 90 this year. I can see a child in him, a boy whose mother would have left a similar letter to me or my husband. Thanks for this poem. In India we live together with our parents, atleast my generation. My mother-in-law is 80 and partially blind, would her mother have left a similar letter too?

  10. Andy Sewina Said,

    This is an eye opener! I like the way you turn it full circle, and the imaginary letter is a great way of presenting these thoughts.

  11. admin Said,

    Thanks, Rob. We are all here for each other.

    Best,

    ~Mark

  12. admin Said,

    Thanks, Vivienne. It’s amazing the various points of view we get as we get older and what is called upon us to fulfill our mission as caring human beings.

    Thanks again for your friendship!

    ~Mark

  13. admin Said,

    Thanks, Uma. All societies and culture need some kind of infrastructure to assist others. We are called by our compassionate nature to help those who are vulnerable, whether they be blood relatives or others. In America, the idea to privatize everything is a self-destructive idea. We must live in community.

    Thank you for your kind words and friendship!

    ~Mark

  14. Marie Said,

    Really, really lovely. Your father is a lucky man to have you.

  15. pamela Said,

    Mark,
    I completely agree with Rall. You are an exceptional son. I just lost a brother in December to Parkinsons and it is truly heartbreaking. This is truly lovely.
    Pamela

  16. admin Said,

    Thank you Pamela. It is a difficult disease, but I’m glad to be here for him and for my grandmother’s spirit.

    Thanks again for your kind words and friendship!

    ~Mark

  17. admin Said,

    Thanks, Marie. We are all here for each other.

    Have a wonderful Monday!

    ~Mark

  18. Robin Said,

    This is beautiful, and I, too, credit you with having such sensitivity to be able to look at this through a different set of eyes. My mom is in poor health, with lots of Parkinsonian symptoms, and I totally understand the responsibility this implies. We’re lucky though, as I have a big family and lots of siblings who are all in on the caretaking.

  19. admin Said,

    Thanks, Robin. We’re all in this together. Kudos to you and your siblings for giving comfort to your mom. I’m in this by myself, but I have friends as does my father who are supportive in helping him in the twilight of his years.

    Best wishes!

    Mark

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