Hemlock by another Name

If Socrates had been a hedge fund leader
And bet wildly on money games,
He’d be relieved to know today
That Hemlock has another name.

“Toxic asset” is too negative
And it looks bad on balance sheets,
The Federal Accounting Standards Board
Said, “You can now be more discreet.”

The mark to market rules have changed
Since accuracy was getting pretty old,
The toxic asset name should change
To something as good as gold.

“Gold” sounds better for a rally
And we can set all future prices,
It’s like Enron for investment banks
Making money and avoiding a crisis.

It’s time to re-inflate the bubble
And drink another round of champagne;
Because toxic assets will always be
Hemlock by another name.