April 24, 2010
A wee bit of drammie
Dropped in my Irish beer stein.
Hooligans practice shenanigans
As the sunrises and moonshines.
Hillbillies take the moonshine,
And put the bottle in front of me.
Like liquid fire in the whole shebang,
For the frontal lobotomy.
A mad scientist tries to break the ice
Before going on the warpath
Jesus H. Christ had a whale of a chance
But didn’t get the last laugh.
The laughing hyena full of vim and vigger
Laughed where the sun don’t shine.
Politics makes strange bedfellows
And a stitch in time saves nine.
We go to the dogs when pigs fly
And the cow jumps over the moon,
It’s as easy as pie when we bought the farm
And we write crazy as a loon.
April 23, 2010
This is a poem for Sue Lowden who is a Republican candidate in Nevada who is running in the Republican primary to be the nominee to defeat Democrat Harry Reid for the US Senate seat.
Sue Louden recently said, “before we all started having health care, in the olden days our grandparents, they would bring a chicken to the doctor, they would say I’ll paint your house.” ~ Sue Lowden on a local Nevada morning show.
Nevada Sue
Went to the zoo
And thought about Pay Day Lenders,
“There must be a way
That people can pay
Good doctors with chicken tenders.
“Will you take
Chicken baked,
Roasted, flame broiled, or fried?
In the olden days,
Folks had ways
To barter with chickens with pride.
“I’ll peck and scratch
With Orrin Hatch,
To change money into chickens,
When farms are banks
Let’s all give thanks
That our money is finger lickin’.
“Healthcare reform
Should be like corn
Fed to poultry before they’re tender,
It may sound strange
That a chicken exchange
Would have Pay Day Chicken Lenders.”
April 23, 2010
Last night I took the “R” out
To a westauwant where we welaxed.
Fwee wange Wepublicans were wunning awound
Cwabby about some waskily tax.
The R said:
This really is rather redundant
Replaying “R” words without redress.
No recourse like the Bill of Rights
No radicals who like to rest.
I said to R:
We can go awound and awound
With wevolution in the aiw;
Wadical wepublicans who want Iwaq
Fwee with Lais sez faiwe.
Then R said:
Your rhythmic rant is really repulsive
and I’m ready for the “R” back in ride.
Then I said:
Do you weally want me to wun you back home?
Then R said:
I’m ready to go where I reside.
April 23, 2010
Call me Tim,
As I begin,
To remember what it is I forgot.
I would ask Spac,
My brother in fact,
But he can’t remember for naught.
Spac and I
Will really try,
To see our ends justify our means,
But we’re lost,
About the cost,
Of reality and how things seem.
Spac’s heart attack
Was due in fact,
To a hole that made him unfulfilled,
And I felt this itch,
That I should stitch,
Something if we should be killed.
We’re just two brothers,
Unlike any others,
But just a little lost without a key.
We’re just hoping to find,
Before losing our minds,
What’s missing so we can just be.
We are now bound
For the Lost and Found,
Where we hope to recover memory.
And just like that,
We found in fact,
We were missing that last letter “e.”
April 22, 2010
Rust reverberates
In the medal of my mind.
Tendril memories curl around
The ancient coils of my childhood,
Like a vintage vine
creeping through the crevices.
A squall of crows fly like new ideas,
But disappear in my A.D.D emporium.
I am alone in the echo chamber of smoke and mirrors.
I live for moments of pepper and saffron;
Pepper keeps me grounded
While Saffron sends me to India.
But the dizzy Reverberating rust
Keeps meddling in my mind.
April 20, 2010
A bald eagle suffers from acrophobia,
A penguin is running hurdles,
A skunk sprays on new perfume
For a hyper impatient turtle.
A square run circles in an octagon,
A lion suffers from laryngitis,
A grizzly bear is a vegetarian
A jellyfish has dermatitis.
A polar bear is no longer bi-polar
A laughing hyena is depressed,
A hedge hog won’t go in any caves,
The sun won’t sink in the west.
A kangaroo bought tap dancing shoes,
And a turkey wants revenge.
Tarantino’s in a romantic role
Without action and the cast of “Friends.”
Teabaggers put acid in their tea,
Church goers bring guns they own,
The Brooklyn Bridge is looking for a buyer
This is the Misfit Twilight Zone.
April 20, 2010
Superman’s hooked on Super Glue
And Batman wears a mask,
Robin wears tan tights to fight crime;
“The boy wonder?” I hear you ask.
Spider man lives on Super flies,
Batgirl likes leather and chains,
Aqua-man drinks us under the table
The Fantastic Four-play adult games.
But of all these comic heroes,
Only one fought corporate crime,
It was Crackers, the Corporate Crime-Fighting Chicken
From Michael Moore’s bright mind.
Cracker’s couldn’t fly like an eagle,
Bend steel, or have x-ray vision,
He was no Ali with boxing skills,
But sought out corporate derision.
Inside sky scrapers across the U.S,
Crackers showed up to expose,
Criminal minds of millionaires
In boardrooms dark and closed.
Corporate polluters, union busters,
Embezzlers of pension funds,
These are the villains in Cracker’s world,
That need to be expunged.
He was a star for a season or two
And gave people lots of hope,
That criminal minds should be behind
Bars where they can cope.
Cracker’s work seems never done,
But in Crackers we should trust,
That we should all be educated
With Crackers inside of us.
April 18, 2010
As I continue my day to day care for my father who has Parkinson’s disease as well as osteoarthritis, I am reminded that our children are our “insurance policy” to some degree as we get older. I imagined a letter that my grandmother would have written to me 77 years ago, right after my father’s birth. A letter that I am now just opening and having some mind blowing revelations. Here is the letter my grandmother might have written to me 77 years ago:
Dear Mark,
I know that one day you will see
The eyes I birthed that are looking at me.
My son is lovely with hopeful eyes,
His smile breaks like the sunrise,
But I know that one day when I’m gone,
And you are raising my only son,
You will see from those same eyes
That came from me on an older sunrise
That the child who will grow to an older man
And who will love you with your future plans
Will need your help before he dies,
Just look into those same child’s eyes.
April 18, 2010
My Siamese cat
Would skit and scat,
Lick himself and chase his tail.
He’d run circles in the room,
And howl at the moon,
Though he was slight and frail.
His greatest gift,
That I can list,
Was his baritone deep meow.
It may sound strange,
That he had range,
But he could moo just like a cow.
He could scale higher notes,
The way a tremolo floats,
Like he was singing in the shower,
And late at night,
In deep hindsight,
He was an opera singer for hours.
He’d also play craps,
And took day naps,
Stalked string, scratched chairs, and took bows,
But for all his flair,
He was ready to share,
His baritone deep meows.
Screamin’ Jay (1/1/95 to 9/4/08)
The day after I put Screamin’ Jay to sleep due to his heart and kidney disease, I got an e-mail message from CompUSA of all places that said: “Screaming Fast 4 Gb Gateway.”
Little Screamin’ Jay made it to the Gateway 
April 16, 2010
This prompt from ReadWritePoem.org is to write a poem about something elemental, such as Earth, Wind, Fire, or Water so I decided to write about all four plus those they serve.
The water said, “I will quench your thirst
From arid desert droughts.”
The wind said, “I will give you breath,
When your air runs out.”
The earth said, “Lie down on me;
I will comfort you in my soil,”
The fire said, “Come close to me
I will keep you warm from toil.”
All four stood in time and space,
And waited for their buyers;
The ground hog found the Earth and said,
“Please cover me when I tire.”
The eagle’s wings were heavy and thick
And needed a gentle lift,
“The wind said, “I will help you rise,
From mountains and sea cliffs.”
The whale had thoughts of suicide,
But the ocean soothed his mind,
“I will cleanse your heart and soul,
And help your blubber to unwind.”
And the fire waited for his friend
Who would use him as his tool,
But mankind burned his own future,
With dirty fossil fuels.
